How With These 3 Things I Find Familiarity in the the Unfamiliarity of Solo Travel

Travelling solo can be one of the greatest things that a person can do.

I am the strongest believer in this.

I don’t think that any of your usual mental deterrents should limit your decision to solo travel.

Now you may be saying something like “I’m not very social” or “I’m an introvert”

None of that matters. This advice is coming from someone who is quite shy and introverted and can only put on the facade of sociability only when the situation demands it. Normally you will find me with my earbuds in as I wonder around a new place or with headphones on in the hotel room on my laptop all alone.

Now do I get lonely?

Well I used to more Than I do now.

So what has changed?

There are a few things that I do to feel like I am still connected and with others whilst still maintaining my space which I love so dearly.

1. 2 week minimum stay in a place

Now 2 week minimum stays in a city around the world may sound either ridiculously long or relatively short depending on your life experiences. For me though I am a creature of routine, there are some things that I love developing every place I go. For me I feel as though I need at least 5–7 days to develop that pattern and then I can enjoy the fruits of that routine for a minimum of 1 week.

By routines I mean things like having a regular grocery store that I frequent so that I know the aisles, I know the products and pricing. I am a firm believer that doing some grocery shopping in a new place firmly grounds you in the realities of being apart of that community. Even if it is a large chain supermarket rather than a small family run grocer. This still allows for a familiarity to form because having that surrounding you is something that you likely wouldn’t think that you care much about where you live but when you frequently move around having that familiarity becomes quite comforting.

Having a routine in your sleeping arrangement is great also. There is a time and place for hostels and backpackers. Those times can be heaps of fun if you are a sociable person. If you are a bit more like me however, it can be quite socially draining and not having your own space to return too can become quite unbearable.

2. Weekly calls with key family and friends

There is a fine balance with calling my family based on my travel experience and for me it has come down to the impromptu nature that serves the greatest value for all involved. You may be or know people like this who tell you about how they have a standing Sunday 6pm phone call with there mother. Now this may seem sweet and lovely to ensure a consistent flow of connection and communication between a parent and a child. I personally feel as though it adds a layer of duty bound obligation to an opportunity that you should enjoy doing rather than pencilling it in to otherwise avoid the inconvenience and disappointment of it all.

Now I know that I may be making this sound quite grim and transactional however I am a firm believer that the spontaneous nature of the phone calls within reason (knowing there work schedule and appropriate time zones) is a major factor in a beneficial and loving conversation being formed.

The general guide that I follow:

• Call at least once per week to each household — If I call my sister who still lives with my parents I may not need to call every 7 days as she will tell them the key facts of my life and it prevents rehashing the same details twice or more
• The call length can be anywhere from 5 minutes to 2 hours — I always call at times that are backstopped with their night routine so that both ends of the line do not get caught filling the conversation with fluff but more so solid conversation
• Cover the areas of health, wealth, Relationships and Plans — Cover for both ends of the line so that each party are aware of how each are feeling physically and mentally, check in on finances (different depth based on each person spoken to), checkin on how others are going and each others social activities, then finally discuss what each others plans are for the next week and what they are looking forward to for the week ahead

I know that this may seem quite clinical and that although many may at first read the above guide and be deterred from having a conversation hitting these key point. However, I cannot remember a conversation since implementing this guide where I have finished a call and not felt satisfied by a great conversation with someone and I have heard similar sentiments regularly from those unaware of the method that I had implemented also.

3. Developing the recognition smile

You may have never really taken notice before to this lovely gesture. You may also do this without being fully aware of your actions. That moment when someone walks into the room and as you look to see who it is and give them a little nod along with a slight smile. Now I know that there are some people out there who are more prone to smile than others which makes the clinical observation of this gesture more difficult to articulate in broad strokes.

I would say though, you would have undoubtedly have experienced this before and have been pleasantly comfortable and happy in their presence possibly subconscious as I find that the human eye can detect this gesture and register it before your conscious mind is aware.

I enjoy this recognition as it develops into a clearer and more deliberate gesture by the reciprocator in the establishment. It can become simple things like saying an enthusiastic hello/good morning as you enter or even to the extent of knowing your coffee order so that all you do is hand over the cash with little fan fair.

I personally have always been a fan of this gesture and has made me feel as though I have a grounding in a place. It makes me feel that there is someone who has recognised me and has some care towards me beyond that of a bystander on the street. This may seem trivial to the happy family man in his house with his wife and children or the young man who has friends and family only a walking distance from him. That is not the case for a solo travel or a single expat in a foreign land.

It is only in these moments of familial connection that you are able to feel some connection to the area and the surrounding community in the early stages of being in a places. Which for some solo travels may be the extent to the connection that they can obtain when constantly moving around.

I am a firm believer that these three factors is what has helped me maintain a sense of familiarity in the unfamiliar when solo travelling and I hope that these tools can help another like me who once was lost but has now found himself in this lifestyle.