Nobody Wants to Help You. Or Do They?

Photo by J W on Unsplash

You think nobody wants to help you.

You assume that if you ask for something — a favour, advice, an introduction — you’ll be a burden. Annoying. Desperate.

So, you don’t ask. You struggle in silence. You tell yourself, If they wanted to help, they’d offer.

But here’s the truth: People actually love to help.

They just don’t know you need it.

The Illusion of Inconvenience

There’s a strange thing about human psychology. We assume that asking for help is an inconvenience to others, but when the roles are reversed, we rarely feel that way.

Think about the last time someone asked you for directions, a book recommendation, or even career advice.

Did you scoff at them and say, How dare you waste my time?

Of course not. You probably felt useful, competent, and valued. Helping others makes people feel good — it gives them a sense of purpose.

Harvard researchers have even found that people consistently underestimate how willing others are to help. In their study, participants who asked for help expected rejection or reluctance, yet the helpers reported feeling happy and appreciated.