Talking To Strangers Like A Long-Time Friend
🧠 What Is “Assuming Rapport”?
Assuming rapport means interacting with someone as if you already have a strong, comfortable, familiar connection — even if you’ve just met.
It’s not fake friendliness.
It’s skipping the awkward stage and going straight to where the conversation flows naturally — where you’re relaxed, engaged, and treating them like a trusted peer or old friend.
Instead of waiting for permission to be comfortable, you just start there.
🎯 Why It Works
Humans mirror energy.
When you treat someone like an old mate, they often respond in kind.
✅ It disarms tension.
✅ It makes you seem confident and trustworthy.
✅ It speeds up the “getting to know you” process.
✅ It positions you as a leader or someone of high social value (without arrogance).
🗣️ Real-Life Examples
1. The Job Interview
❌ Standard:
“Hi, I’m really thankful for the opportunity to be here today. I’m quite nervous but excited.”✅ Assumed Rapport:
“Hey, good to meet you! This place has a great vibe — how long have you been with the team?”
You’ve skipped formal stiffness and stepped into peer-to-peer conversation.
2. Meeting Someone at a Party
❌ Standard:
“Hi, um, I’m Dominic. Do you live around here?”✅ Assumed Rapport:
“Wait, hold on — I need your honest opinion on this debate we’ve been having over there…”
You enter like you’ve already been chatting all night.
3. First Date / Talking to Someone New
❌ Standard:
“So… um, what do you do for work?”✅ Assumed Rapport:
“Alright — what’s something you wish more people would ask you about on first dates but no one ever does?”
You create space for authenticity by acting like you’re already comfortable enough to go deep or playful.
4. Public Speaking / Presenting
❌ Standard:
“Hi everyone, thanks for having me. I’m not the best at public speaking…”✅ Assumed Rapport:
“Alright, here’s something you’ll probably relate to — we’ve all had that one moment where you know you should speak up, and instead… you freeze.”
You act like the room already knows and trusts you.
💡 How to Cultivate It
- Body language: Relaxed shoulders, open stance, steady eye contact. You’re not apologizing for being there.
- Voice tone: Warm and smooth. Not rushed. Like you’re chatting over coffee, not auditioning.
- Language: Use words like “we”, “you know what I mean?”, “let’s be real”. These imply shared understanding.
- Mindset: You’re not trying to win them over. You’re already in — now you’re just enjoying the ride.
🧨 When It Backfires (and Why That’s OK)
Sometimes, if someone’s particularly guarded, assuming rapport might seem “too much.” That’s fine. You’re better off finding your people than trying to shape-shift for everyone.
Just don’t confuse rapport with intrusiveness. The energy is friendly confidence, not dominance.
✨ Final Thought
Assuming rapport isn’t pretending you know someone.
It’s acting as if you already like each other — and trusting that they’ll meet you there.
People feel safer around someone who already treats them like a friend.
And in a world full of filters, hesitation, and social fear — that’s magnetic.
