The Most Dangerous Trait of High Performers (That No One Wants to Talk About)
If you’re trying to be great at something, balance is not your friend.
Before I get into what led me to this conclusion, you need to understand something about me, which is not unusual for most people reading this. If you’re reading this, do you want to optimise? You want to be the person who excels in life? You don’t want to be stuck to that life script that has been taught to you over and over.
You want something different for your life.
You are the change you seek.
Just as I have with the world at your fingertips, now is the time to begin reading and listening to podcasts. Also, take the time to consume as much information as possible because you know that learning from all of these people's mistakes will be the reason that you’ll be successful.
You do this mental masturbation for what seems to be an infinite amount of time because you’re never truly ready to commit and do the thing that will make you the greatest.
I’m that guy.
I have been consuming content and dabbling for the last half a decade, unfortunately.
I have wasted my early twenties in many ways.
It is in this moment, however, that taking action after all of these minor micro-missteps is what will lead me, and hopefully you, to become a person who achieves what they seek.
Let me explain.
1. Most people are taught to “dabble”
Try a little of this. Try a little of that.
Pick a major. Change it. Pick a job. Change it. Pick a goal. Forget about it by Monday.
They think the path to success is about keeping their options open.
But the people who make it? The ones who build something? Who dominates a field?
They don’t dabble.
They go all in.
Because the voices in my head are with me 24 hours a day, I am the only one struggling with this problem. I know that is not the case.
From an early age, I had many great academic opportunities, which varied from sociology-based teachings to mathematics, languages, and other facets of education.
I achieved above average in all of those domains, which in the world of education makes a younger person feel like the world is their oyster. However, my lack of specificity and my ability to be a generalist have come to hurt me in my 20s.
A great test of how the world perceives you is to ask a friend to describe you to a stranger.
Those words that people say about you can tell a deeper story about what you're projecting into this world, which is more revealing than any self-assessment you can do. Because in the narrative you create, you create a facade that blocks the truth of what your actions and character have shaped in the minds of others about who you are and what you’re about.
And my friends generally described me as a polymath of sorts —a guy who is great to talk to and knows a lot about a broad range of topics. I was happy.
But on the other side of that ledger, what I was dreading to hear was that they would also say he seems to be trying a lot without really sinking his teeth into anything. I wonder what Dom’s going to find himself doing later.
Dabbling and curiosity are both intertwined, but the difference between someone who has endless curiosity and someone who merely dabbles lies in that the curious person has sunk their teeth into something and has explored it as far as they want, without fear of reprisal.
That’s the next step for me.
And if you’re reading this, it’s probably the next step for you.
2. The people you admire are obsessed
There’s no version of Kobe Bryant “finding balance.”
There’s no version of Da Vinci “doing it for fun.”
There’s no version of Serena Williams “taking a break from tennis to try painting.”
They weren’t just interested.
They were obsessed.
That kind of tunnel vision is uncomfortable. It’s hard to relate to. And it doesn’t fit nicely into a wellness podcast.
But it’s the truth:
Singular obsession is the price of world-class performance.
I’ve loved playing golf ever since I was a child. Now, I was never going to be Tiger Woods, but that was never the goal when I picked up a golf club before I started school. There was always that part of me that wanted to grow up to be the guy who could attend a corporate golf day and be the one everyone else at the company I worked for looked up to. Now that I feel a little bit more, I could say that was because I assumed I had to always work in a company. The only way I could garner a level of respect or admiration from my peers was to do things beyond the work through exploits that I had developed over the years of practice, such as participating in a corporate golf day.
That level of preparation pales in comparison to what it takes to be a world-class performer and a professional athlete.
I know, however, there has been nothing in my life that I have put as much time into as practising playing golf. So, I write this acknowledging my level of hubris in thinking that I will be as successful in any other facet of my life as I was in this pursuit, had I never put in the level of work and dedication that I did.
Like many of you, I have dabbled and potted around always in search of the thing that will grab me, that thing that will cause me to stay awake at night, that idea that will cause me to almost tremble with excitement and fear at the prospect of what it could bring.
How laughable is it of me to think that some level of divine inspiration will provide me with that level of spark so I employ you to pick something, sink your teeth into it for a bit and maybe you’ve spent so much time being curious that you let the opportunity for that spark to fly away. Still, it’s in the action of sinking your teeth into something that might reignite that spark.
3. Obsession isn’t a flaw — it’s a feature.
Let’s break this myth: “If you’re obsessed with something, there’s something wrong with you.”
Wrong.
If you’re obsessed with something, there’s a good chance you just found your thing.
The truth?
Most people never find something they’re willing to suffer for.
Most people never become so skilled at one thing that they can’t be ignored.
Most people spend their lives half-trying, half-caring, and wondering why it never works out.
Obsession changes that.
Every child had an obsession.
Robert Greene discusses this in his book “Mastery,” positing that all children, as a result of both their nurturing and their nature, are wired to have an innate obsession and curiosity towards a specific area or topic.
But why is it that later in life we don’t seem to hold onto it?
We need to go back and find that, don't we?
That thing that got us excited as kids?
Reignite the feeling of waking up before the sunrise on Christmas morning
The world would be a whole lot better place if all of us attempted to recapture the pursuit that we had in our given fields when we were children. Just imagine the intensity and passion with which we would all strive in our chosen work if we had that level of excitement for what we were doing every day.
4. Want to be in the top 1%? Here’s the cheat code.
Ready?
Pick one thing.
Go deeper than anyone else is willing to go.
Do it every day — even when no one is watching.
That’s it.
Not sexy.
Not easy.
But brutally effective.
Obsession creates momentum. Momentum creates mastery. And mastery is the only thing that matters when everyone else is average.
5. A simple rule I live by:
If it feels like you’re doing too much, you’re probably doing it right.
Every time I’ve felt like I was “too obsessed” with something — writing, business, fitness — it turned into a breakthrough.
Every time I tried to “balance it out,” I got stuck.
So now I choose obsession.
Not forever. But long enough to get great.
Because the truth is:
Casual effort = casual results
Singular obsession = uncommon outcomes
Choose wisely.
TL;DR
Most people dabble. Winners obsess.
If you’re not scary good at one thing, you’re replaceable.
Obsession isn’t unhealthy. Staying average is.
One final question:
What’s the one thing you’re willing to get obsessed with, while everyone else is still dabbling?
