The Power of Distancing: Redefining Self-Improvement for Your Own Path
Introduction: Shifting the Aspiration Paradigm
For most of my life, I aspired to be like those I admired. I figured if I could just copy their habits, their success would eventually rub off on me. But the further I got into my journey of self-improvement, the more I realized something: I wasn’t moving toward my true self — I was moving away from my own identity. What I really needed wasn’t to mimic others but to distance myself from those who mirrored my old self, the version of me I no longer wanted to be.
1. The Trap of Idolizing Others
It’s easy to fall into the trap of looking up to people who seem to have it all figured out. We pick role models and start to mold ourselves in their image. I remember early in my career, I admired this entrepreneur — he was charismatic, driven, always the center of attention. He was everything I wanted to be. So, I started emulating his behavior, even adopting some of his goals.
But something always felt off. The more I tried to be like him, the more I felt I was losing my authentic self. I wasn’t motivated by my own passions or values — I was simply copying someone else’s blueprint for success. What I didn’t realize then was that we don’t all thrive under the…
